Inner Demons and Forgotten Roses
by Viient
Summary: CainRiff Written from Cain's point of view. Cain ponders life with Riff and what he truly feels.


**Disclaimer: **Godchild/Count Cain belongs to Kaori Yuki

**AN: **Hope you enjoy.

**Inner Demons and Forgotten Roses**

The warm night air sweeps across my face, making my hair dance under the pale moon's light. I stand here on my balcony looking out into the gardens. The only thoughts that occupy my mind are of you.

Many call you my shadow, for everywhere I go you stand behind me silently, offering your aid and care. They are wrong; shadows are part of a darkened world… the world that I alone, was born from. This you cannot be, you are the light in this hell, this world. My light. You are the air that surrounds me. When you are gone I suffocate—I cannot breathe.

I told you that it was I had who had captured you. I was wrong—it was not me that captured you, but you that captured me. Standing here I note that my life is meaningless without you.

I hatched from an egg of a demon, and it covered me with a blanket of ash, staining me with the sin of my namesake. My soul is black, and poisoned. My soul is condemned. Though you still hold me, and wash my soul clean. You touch the scars that mark me as a sinner, of the false love that I had wrapped myself in … and I will only ever let _you_ do so.

Though, I fear that in doing so I slowly corrupt your purity, that I soil your soul. Riff I stand here alone under this moon that scorns me. However, it matters not. For when you entered my life, when you held out your hand and pulled me from the clutches of darkness—you gave to me a new life.

"Master Cain."

Your mellow voice calls out to me. I turn, a small smile flickers across my face, a smile that only you seem to bring to it. I don't need to hear your voice nor listen for your footsteps to know that you now stand by the French doors that lead out into this balcony. For I can breathe now. This air that carries your scent rushes into my lungs and I no longer am choking.

"Master Cain, it's getting late. Won't you retire for the night?"

Your voice is laced with love and concern. Your love has always wrapped itself around me like a blanket, warming the deepest part of my being.

"Riff…"

Your name slips off my tongue. My mouth is about to betray me—but about what I don't know. However at this current moment I welcome its treacherous ways. I know that you wait patiently for me to continue. But now my heart and mind are at battle. Through this internal turmoil, I hear your footsteps draw near, and I know that you now stand beside me. As if you know that it's your presence that my soul craves. I can't help but feel drawn to the warmth that you provide; my body longs to be held by your protective arms.

But I stay, standing here facing this darkened world. I will not budge from this spot till I truly understand. The battle ensues. Riff I seem to be confused. How is it that you can make me feel alive, when no other is able to? Why do I feel so alone when you're gone? Why is it that I cannot live without you? Why does this heart of mine yearn for you? I'm tied to you, this bond is forever. This bond…of Love.

The words that seemed so daring, now cower, and slink back into my throat, they are choking, and for once it's not the air. Ironic don't you think. I have put all the pieces together and finally understand these feelings I have for you. Or perhaps I always known I just needed to come to the firm conclusion that I did _love you_.

It was a forgotten love; I had wrapped myself so tightly in it that I had forgotten what it truly was.

I close my eyes—fine let the words cower, they never could have betrayed me … not when I am willing to speak them.

How many minutes have past since you decided to stand beside me? No, I can't count them, for you said that you would stand beside me forever. So I guess you will be here till the end of time. I am selfish, that's how I want it to be, and _you _know that I will never release you.

Satisfied I turn to look at you. You have that happy gleam in your eyes; you know that I am ready to continue. And I won't keep you waiting any longer.

"Riff."

I wrap my arms around you. You are slightly shocked by the sudden gesture of affection but you relax. I can't help bit grin.

"Hold onto my leash tightly. My heart will forever sing for you."

You stare at me slightly shocked at my choice of words. Really when have I ever come out and stated what I truly am thinking. My grin widens.

You smile shaking your head.

"Was it not I that was captured milord."

My arms are still wrapped around you, though I bring one hand up to your head, and lightly push you down towards me. I capture your lips in a soft kiss. Your warmth rushes through my body. My heart beats faster.

The kiss seemed to last forever, but as sleep tugs at the corners of my eyes I slowly pull away. Then I look up at you again.

"Shall we? To bed?"

I can't sleep alone tonight, the nights are cold and I don't want you to warm my bedside with anything but your own body. I turn to head back into my chamber, and I know that you follow.

* * *

Wrapped in both my blankets and your arms I start to fall asleep. I can hear you breathing beside me; it's a sound that I cherish more then life itself. I turn in your arms so that I face you. You look angelic with the moon light kissing your beautiful face. Sleep tightens its grasp on me, but I can't help but whisper to the night my true feelings. 

"I love you."

My eyes begin to close; the words have taken flight, they are no longer held captive within my heart. I know you are asleep, but one day they will reach your ears. I snuggle closer to your chest.

But your sudden movement jerks my eyes back open.

"The feeling is mutual. I love you too." You kiss my brow. I can't hide my shock. I turn my head away from you.

"I--I didn't know that you were awake."

Your hand brushes my cheek, and you turn my head so that it's once again facing you. I can see your smile.

"I won't go without you."

You kiss my lips, and whisper, "Goodnight Cain."

Again you make my heart take flight, returning to my previous position I snuggle up to you.

"Goodnight Riff."

* * *

I awake the next morning. I know that you are no longer sleeping beside me, but I can still feel the warmth you left in your wake. I roll over and drink up your scent. As I wipe the sleep from my eyes I hear a knock at the door and suddenly it opens. 

I know it's you, I always know. I hear you walk over to my small tea table and place a new vase of roses upon it. It's a practice you have done since time began. Every morning you come with a fresh set of red roses. _Red Roses. _

It finally clicks.

Every morning since I can remember, you have proclaimed to me your love with roses. Only now I finally understand.

Still slightly asleep, I get up from my bed and walk over to you. You turn to look at me. You open your mouth to say something. But I cover it with my finger. I pull a rose from the vase, then bring the flower to my lips and kiss it. As I pull it away I look into your eyes.

"Good Morning Riff!"

You don't respond with words. Instead I feel you pull me closer to you, as you wrap your arms around me. You bend down and close the distance between us with a kiss. A kiss so full of passion that my legs become weak and I rely on your strength to keep me standing.

I feel lightheaded, and you pull away only to whisper…

"Good Morning Cain."


End file.
